Delor.es.Defacto

she knew she had to change her plans

But it goes straight to message April 24, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — deloresdefacto @ 1:22 am
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I didn’t want my blog to be about complaints.  I am a very happy person and I do not have any intention in being mean or hurtful to someone.  Therefore my blog has to be a place to make my soliloquies.  On one hand I want to be public in my outrage, but on the other hand I don’t want to take the time to bother with demonstrating how much my ex friend sucks.  And she does.

I have received the second of 2 failed attempts for her to get a response from me on Facebook.  Today, I figured out how to block her.  Unfortunately I cannot do the same for the random text messages I get on holidays about how much she “loves” me (without paying a $4.99 monthly fee to AT&T.)  I blocked her from my email last {looks at old blog posts} last October after telling her she was not nice to me and I couldn’t have that in my life anymore.  I never said anything else to her since then.  Yet she still continues to send me random crap like this that I explain into terms of truth over selfishly blinded, empty words:

Subject: 10 years  {rolls eyes}  Ten years since what?  Since I started going out and drinking?

I just wanted you to know that I am glad you are doing well.  You saw my comment on Facebook or someone told you what I’ve said.  Either way, no I serious doubt you are glad I’m doing well without you being around.  I’m doing extremely well and that is because I am no longer exposed to your negative, bitter, complaint ridden drivel nor your excessive use of me as a “friend” so you could have me to do errands for you every do often.

I miss our friendship and I would love if you could give it another try.  You miss me not doing crap for you.  You miss me not being around when you feel like complaining about someone or yelling at someone or gossiping about someone.  It drives you crazy that you don’t have any part of my life so you can give some kind of snide, rude and thoughtless comment about it.  H-E-double hockey stick NO!  You think that I am the bad guy and I need to know that you still “love” me and forgive me when all I want to do is keep your selfish, self-centered, abusive, manipulative and user junk out of my life.  Have someone else do errands for you like feed your dogs, get water for you at the club, make CDs and DVDs for your family, take you places when your husband won’t (and just telling me that I would do it, no asking involved) and the other 900 things you wanted me to do for you all while telling me every. single. day about how you “feel like s*&$” because you have a migraine, a sniffle, feel dizzy, knee hurts, it’s too cold, it’s too hot, etc. etc. Do you ever listen to yourself?  No apparently not and you don’t listen to anyone else either, otherwise you would have gotten the message when I told you over six months ago to leave me the heck alone.  I don’t care how much you think I need to do for you.

Our 10 year friendship deserves more than this abrupt ending.  Yes, because you are very, very important and I am treating you badly.  We had not been close friends for years.  You are full of b.s.  Step out of your little world for a minute if you have the common sense to do so (which I highly doubt you do) and think that I seriously, honestly, genuinely do not want you in my life at all.  I don’t want you to know anything about me because you would never have anything nice to say about it in person or behind my back.  I know how you treat everyone else – you bad mouthed them to me 1 zillion times and spent your days at work gossiping about people you didn’t even know. 

I would settle for just being facebook friends.  Hhmm, let’s see.  I’ve had this account for over a year and I added everyone I wanted to stay in contact with in one swoop, I’ve ignored your friend request when you saw me comment on someone else’s post and now you want to send me a message about how important 10 whole years of knowing someone because you use to work with my friends from high school so we can be Facebook friends so we can stay in touch and you can know all about my life. Yeah, sound good?  NO!  And use a capital letter once in a while, would ya?  You’re a teacher for crying out loud!

: o )  Are you 12?  What’s up with the cutesy round nosed smiley?  FAIL.

I am never on this much anyways.  That’s because you “can’t stand computers” and you don’t know how to use them and sit and scream at your husband to fix it every time you try to boot it up.  Good.  Stay off the stupid site and stop stalking me.  You suck!

Hence my action to “block” her from being able to see my information which I should have done to begin with.  I had anxiety about her trying to contact me, I still worry about having her fake self try calling me or seeing me out somewhere and trying to talk to me.  I guess she really thinks that I need her or something.  Poor girl.  I really do feel bad for her because she is going to live her whole life like this unless she gets a serious clue and starts going to a church that teaches her something useful other than routine.

Granted I was an angry, depressed, emotional wreck for years.  But that’s the thing.  I have the blessings of my mister and all that life I have received just by putting myself in check.  I love him and I understand what love really is.  I have happiness because I’m not angry and bitter and nasty to people (or I at least have the understanding that I can’t be that way and be happy.)  I scraped all that old junk off and really let go and let myself understand that God wants so much more for my life than the piddley crap that I use to think was important.  Once you become aware and once you grasp happiness and peace and love you will make sure you never, ever let it go.  I absolutely refuse to let anyone or anything worm in my way and try to infest my life in a poisonous way like that again.  Thank God for the ability to have a wonderful, happy life with a nice, amazing, caring and sweet person to share it with.

http://www.deloresdefacto.com/?p=155

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Basic space, open air April 4, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — deloresdefacto @ 10:08 pm
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Before bed time comes, I will update the blog so I won’t have to feel like I’m putting it off yet again.  Granted each day I feel like I should be giving up on this entirely because it can be construed as simply a space to complain.  Sort of an unproductive space rather than one that produces benefits.  But still, I think it does do me well to have this boxed in slate to type down some words that I don’t want to necessarily keep to myself and yet not necessarily let a bunch of people to see.  It’s just something to keep up – a project with limitations and expanses.

So what I wanted to comment on mainly today was how my life is so nice these days.  I am so excited for the future and each day I just concentrate on how nice it will be when the life I know that is waiting for me will come to fruition.  I’m being patient but I do wish I could pick up and leave right now.  I’ll see my mister before long and that is all that matters.  I miss him so much.

And because it’s Easter and a time to celebrate happy times, my ex friend decided to send, yet another, “I love you and miss you text” that made me disgusted.  Now, while it may seem that I’m being rude, I know it’s a ploy so I don’t respond.  Words without meaning are easy to see right through.  Actions, knowing and intuition are truth.  I know she has no real interest in being a real friend to me – it’s merely to show her family and friends who know I’ve not spoken to her to think that I am the “bad” guy.  I told her she treats people badly and I didn’t want her negativity, anger and criticism in my life anymore.  You would think she would have gotten the point by now.

Anyway, so that’s one thing I won’t miss around here.  That and the random knocking on my door by drunken strangers in the middle of the night.  The pit bulls without a lease.  The problems this nation is going through.  There’s so much that I can do without around here.

Six or so more months…

http://www.deloresdefacto.com/?p=152