Delor.es.Defacto

she knew she had to change her plans

We have our looks and perfume on January 14, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — deloresdefacto @ 7:27 pm

I saw Atonement last night. It finally came to a theater nearby after we’d been waiting on it forever. I was okay with it because I looked up the plot on Wikipedia so I knew what was going to happen. But still, I can’t say enough good things about it. It just makes me want to write a good novel even more and the way the story was put into a movie was so artistic and lovely. As I said in my email today:

Here’s how much I thought of it; I barely said anything through the whole thing because I was trying to concentrate. Ha ha. I kept thinking about it all last night though. It wasn’t as depressing as “Titanic” but I think that’s just because I looked up the story and we knew what was going to happen. And Fran didn’t like the typewriter/piano music but I loved that. Did you notice how there were parts that were really quiet and then parts with the music? The quiet scenes (like the sex one; all you hear is them breathing and the clock ticking in the background) made me anxious. Without the language and the gore, it totally reminded me of an old movie. The thing was just perfect. So freaking good.

The one part we didn’t get (because they didn’t explain it well and/or we couldn’t understand what they were saying) was about Keira and James being at school together and something happened and how he was going to go to medical school. So did something happen when they were away at school or it was just weird that they had been apart for years and saw each other again? That was the only thing we didn’t get all together. That and the fact that honestly, no matter what that little girl did, they probably would have drafted him into the Army anyway.

Yeah the arty stuff totally got me. I love when they take a good book and make a good movie from it. Those are always the best ones. All it says in Wikipedia about them at college was: Briony’s sister, 23-year old Cecilia Tallis, has returned home from university and is confronting her confused feelings towards Robbie Turner, son of the housekeeper, whose studies were financed by Jack Tallis and who, like Cecilia, studied literature at Cambridge University. I liked the whole class system theme in there too. And they didn’t have to explain it too much, you just figured it out (again, good story telling.) Just like him going to war and the chocolate factory guy did because in their difference of class. If he would have married Cecilia he probably wouldn’t have had to go because he was in a wealthy family. Plus that and the fact that they would believe that he’s a bad guy, despite how well they knew him, because he was a servant.

And I just love that that little girl, Briony, even at the end, is still selfish and totally in her own head about all of it. Like she says, “I feel like I kept them from happiness.” Oh and what I thought they could have added in there, and maybe it isn’t even in the book, is how she really made the novel end. Like was it suppose to be that she went to see her sister at the apartment and he never had to go to war because she told her parents the truth, or did he come back from the war and they were together? As far as Wikipedia says, it’s vague in the book just like the movie was. I totally want to read the book now even though I heard it was boring.

Aside from that I wanted to talk about hotness versus compatibility. I am no Keira Knightly, it’s true. I’m all personality. Hence, I look for the same in relationship. I’m not blind or anything; I know which guys are hot, but how someone looks doesn’t factor in my perception of them after a couple of weeks. My ex is a good looking guy; women (and men for that matter) love him. I could have cared less when I first met him even though all the girls around me were falling at his feet. I guess that’s why he chose me to begin with honestly. Then my guys friends whom he started hanging out with once I met him, figured out that his sarcastic humor and musical talent equalled a cockiness that was irritating as hell after a while. When I see him now I think of him as my brother rather than an ex lover just because I know what he’s like. Tons of pretty girls didn’t understand why he chose me but, then again, they didn’t have to go through hell with him either.

My mantra has been ever since that I have to know them for a while before I decide if I’d want to date them. I think about how someone looks at first meeting in a whole, encompassing persona rather than “wow, he’s hot.” (Not that I haven’t thought that before though, I must reiterate this point.) Once I know them, I see them as beautiful or plain. Nine times out of ten, the really good looking guys are so cocky about it that I could care less if they have good bone structure and modelesque features. An ass is an ass, no matter how pretty the package.

And, again, I think I’m the only one who thinks about it this way. Granted, I pick the wrong one every time (a pattern which I have fervently resigned from all together in the past year) but it’s the essentials of how they treat me that ends up being what matters. Having a beautiful man call you up for a date is great and all but once they treat you badly, who cares how dreamy they are? Maybe it’s just that good looking guys think non-beautiful women should worship them because they could get some glamor gal to hang on their arm for a while as a trophy. But my mother was the pretty girl in our little, country town and she said all the good looks from all the guys who chased her didn’t mean a thing in the long run. My Dad was quiet and gentle and level headed; that was what really mattered.

So as I go through life, gabbing about men with my friends, I just feel different because “the initial attraction” doesn’t register with me. Some people may say that I’m bitter and just afraid of relationships all together because I’ve been treated badly in the past (which is and isn’t true; I’m afraid of the same kind of relationship I’ve had in the past.) But I have fallen for a ton of my male friends for as long as I can remember. I am friends with them for the reason of common interests, taste and connection. Whether or not I feel attracted to them comes later when I realize that I have a desire to be affectionate with them or not. I see men who are cute but just by my own personality and upbringing, I would never sleep with them without knowing them anyway, so the whole idea is sort of eliminated in my mind. I’m may be attracted to them but I need the essential compatibility and trust to even consider having a relationship with them. So, again, I love cute guys, but they aren’t really hot until I know who they really are.

Unfortunately this is an even more rare case for men. But if you haven’t noticed, hot guys are are usually with average looking girls. And it’s always the average looking girls who complain about this when they should be happy that they don’t have to look like a Chanel ad to get a cute guy. Maybe I really am onto something with how I see men of all ranges of hotness. Keira Knightly may get to kiss them for money, but the real girls are the ones they come home to.

P.S. I added a blog account on SkyRock

http://www.deloresdefacto.com/?p=63

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