The title has nothing to do with this post (as far as I can tell) but I just love this song: The National – Mistaken For Strangers. I love his voice.
So as I eat my very disgusting Lean Gourmet, Chicken Alfredo Florentine (why does this stuff get freezer burn so easily?) I will get down to the topic of conversation for today:
There are a few people in this world, as far as I have gathered from my extensive interactive research, who would rather be alone than settle for a crappy relationship. There are girls, like myself, who aren’t under some kind of addictive chemical, who aren’t ex cons, or former strippers. We are, apparently, the chosen few who aren’t out to devastate our lives or any man’s for that matter. It seems that we, as a subgroup from the norm, have the worst time finding a guy.
Now I know that finding a potential mate is not the most obscure topics on the market, but, look at what kinds of men myself and the girls I know, have succumbed to:
- My mother doesn’t think any girl is good enough for me and she’s all the woman I need anyway.
- I got busted for driving drunk.
- I got busted for selling drugs.
- I got busted for fighting.
- Oh, I forgot to tell you; I have to appear in court.
- Why can’t you ever do anything right?
- You’re not leaving this apartment tonight.
- I’m going to break the door down in you don’t let me in.
- That’s not ours, it’s mine.
- Saying that you don’t want me to hang out with other girls is smothering me.
- My father was an asshole so, therefore, I have to be an asshole because it makes me a man.
- How can I resist, her breasts were in my face!
- If you leave me, I’ll kill myself.
- I don’t love you anyway.
- It’s none of your business who else I sleep with.
- What, you want a relationship now?
- I’m no good; why would you want me?
- I use to beat up my girlfriends.
- My girlfriends use to beat me up.
- If you hit me, I’ll hit you back.
- Ow! What the hell was that for?
- I’d never hurt you, I swear.
- I didn’t lie; you just misunderstood how I told you the story I came up with out of my ass.
- You can’t prove that I ever lied to you.
- You’re the one who’s screwed up.
- You need me.
- You need to find yourself.
- I know you’re cheating on me.
- You’re suppose to be making me happy.
- My ex girlfriend wants us to still be friends.
- My mother had a thing with my half brother.
- Hey, honey, look at that girl. She’s hot.
- What? What did I say?
- Just because I sleep with other girls, doesn’t mean I don’t want to still sleep with you.
- I’ll call. I promise.
- Just wait for me, I’ll be there in ten minutes.
- Why are you wearing that? Are you trying to pick up another guy?
- I tried to love you, but I can’t.
- I like all kinds of music. (My personal blazing red flag alert to mind the gap.)
Now I’m not saying that girls, including myself honestly, haven’t gone to the outer limits of impossible to deal with. But, for myself, it was never in a way to disregard anyone’s feelings. Someone put it this way once; I find guys who feed off of the insecurities I have of never quite understanding what is going on with the guy. And I think this goes for a lot of girls who simply want something simple. I know, I know, life is not simple and if it were, we wouldn’t feel that excitement and adrenaline rush of what could happen with our new found crush. However, when the lying, the distance, the all out cruelness of what the person you’ve allowed to sit by you for a few months starts to settle in, the reality of knowing the relationship is simply not going to work out makes us more than disillusioned.
So it’s better to be by ourselves than deal with a rat bastard, correct? And it’s hard to see what’s really going on with your relationship when you’re in the throws of confusion. But why does it end up like this? Nice girls who want nothing more than the comfort of an honest, nice guy, get the attention of guys who are anything but honest or nice. Then we put up with it for way too long because we’re use to it. Then when they leave we’re relieved and think, “Why in the hell did I put up with that for so long?”
I’m sure there are nice guys somewhere and they just don’t present themselves as available. Not at work, not at school, not at the club. And if there are, who the hell do they get? The girls who are the female versions of the rat bastards that the nice girls get. A whole new Catch-22 for the X Generation.
Haven’t you guys all noticed that too? That most of us are still going out and looking and not married with kids? We’re spending more time concentrating on ourselves, which is good, but why does it take so long for our soul’s counterpoint to come into our lives?
I have seen hundreds of nice guys who get pummeled by bitches and they run back and forth for more and dismiss our constant query of, “Why do even bother with her? You could do so much better!” But they don’t and someone the nices can’t play together. And seldom, but thankfully, the means get together to live their torrid, bullshit love affair that we all get to stand on the side line with our arms crossed, listening to their tales of domestic disturbance and we think, “You guys deserve each other.”
A lot of times we fall into this weird mid-way ground. I’m not the innocent fawn, but I’m not Courtney Love either. I can pull some shit, but I know what I’m doing and when it comes to the point of being so upset about my male companion’s behavior, I resort to the crying jags and the angry tantrums. But that’s my fault for not seeing the signs way ahead of time or, worse yet, seeing the signs and justifying them as “not that bad.”
Now the trues has going to have to be held. For gals like us, we see the potential train wreck ahead and get off at the first available stop. I’ve been lured in to a jerk’s car plenty of times, been taken for a ride, placed in the back seat and then eventually left at the curb. And I’d like to think that now I’m not going to let myself be mesmerized by their tactics anymore, but if I do, I’m leaving the window down so I can jump out of the car before it’s too late. At least knowing that whatever kind of bullshit they’ll pull, I’m more the wiser after seeing the worst of the worst, not just by myself, but through the stories of the other girls out there who put up with the chaos.
I’ve heard that there are guys who aren’t shady but I have no idea where the Queen Bee is hiding them. They usually won’t retreat either unless you play your cards right. I don’t play my cards at all and just sort of lay them out on the table. Usually some girl with a better hand is the winner and I walk away broke.
But someday hopefully there will be a nice, honest cute one who is sick of bitches and who doesn’t have a bag full of problems that they want to dump on me and drag me down with them. I’ve seen it happen to girls and guys I know already so I’ll just sit with all of my chips and wait for a better hand I guess.
Well, the subject title did have something to do with my post. Huh. I like when it works out that way.
The National – Mistaken For Strangers
Make up something to believe in your heart of hearts
so you have something to wear on your sleeve of sleeves
so you swear you just saw a feathery woman
carry a blindfolded man through the trees
showered and blue-blazered, fill yourself with quarters
showered and blue-blazered, fill yourself with quartersYou get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
when you pass them at night under the silvery, silvery citibank lights
arm in arm in arm and eyes and eyes glazing under
oh you wouldnt want an angel watching oversurprise, surprise they wouldnt wannna watch
another uninnocent, elegant fall into the unmagnificent lives of adults
Photo credit: sophiemuc