she knew she had to change her plans

Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade October 30, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — deloresdefacto @ 3:13 pm

On Sunday, thanks to Kingdom of Swine on XM, I heard a remix of Covenant’s “Bullet.” Now that I’ve researched the girl who sang in the remix, I have now discovered Ellen Allien.
Every time I watch something about Allen Ginsberg I get more into being a writer. This is weird to me too because I never read Ginsberg. Last time I saw something about him when when I was watching the dogs at Fran’s while they were in Tennessee. They talked about how Ginsberg kept every scrap of paper and kept a journal with him at all times. This is stuff I do now, even though I’ve only written a couple of things in my purse journal. This show, the American Passage, said that Ginsberg felt that Whitman was his kin and he tried to even embody how he looked. He looked at him as his gay poet forefather and identified himself with him.
So who do I identify with? Who do I keep myself akin to and try to embody? Everyone I look up to, everyone I want to write like is a man. I adore their ability to be who they are to be without holding back. The female who feels like this close enough to me is Dorothy Parker. Maybe she is my foremother? Maybe, we both have such love and attraction to men that we want to be like them and being with them, obsessing over them, puts a little bit of them into us in some degree.
I’ll have to do more research to find the right role model.
I found this clip today: Quentin Tarantino + Fiona Apple. Tarantino was my first real inspiration to think of stories in a cinematic way. Not that I could ever make a movie (I would be ecstatic if I could ever make movies) but I remembered him saying that when he picked the music for the soundtracks, he used the music he had been listening to when he wrote the script. That’s how I correlated music with writing stories. Now I have certain stories I tell myself over and over in my head when I listen to certain songs. The whole visual effect takes place with the music to go along with the pictures and the events.
Anyway, I love what he says in the clip about writing: To me, for writing the dialogue, is so easy, I actually feel just a touch of a fraud taking credit for it. Even though I’m protective of it…it’s just like some sort of God antenna.
IMDB announced their new character page feature and coolie enough, they chose Special Agent Dale Cooper to advertise the new page feature. I love it.
Even though it’s the afternoon by the time I say this, I’ve started trying to eat something when I get up instead of just coffee. It’s so weird and annoying how your appetite changes. Sometimes I haven’t the interest in eating until later in the day, sometimes I want to eat all the time. I remember being on Weight Watchers and being hungry a lot in a good way because I always ate a bunch of little things that hadn’t a lot of fat or calories. I could go back to counting points and being stricter with my intake but the problem with diet food is the expense. Since I have a purse full of cash for Slurpies and coffee and a flat broke bank account, going to the store and stocking up on Lean Cuisine and fat free everything is not an option right now.
My student loan money finally got worked out though (or so I’m told.) Like I said before, I had been told by both my academic advisor and a girl in Financial Aid that everything in my account was fine and my loan money would be disbursed on the 19th of this month. The same week, I got a letter in the mail from the school saying that “there was a change in your schedule” and I couldn’t get my money until a later date. Then the fires came and the school was closed and I had no freaking idea what was going on so the freaking progressed itself and I realized that the loan money I was counting on for small things like, oh, rent for next month, was not available. After constant emails that were never replied to, faxes to the Financial Aid department, numerous calls to Student Accounts and Financial Aid, I finally talked to someone in Financial Aid later last night. Get this…
So they said the reason why my loan disbursement didn’t go through last time was because my last professor (the one who gave me the “B” — still pissed about that) didn’t post the grades on time so when they tried to post the money to my account, it looked as if I had dropped out. Lovely. Of course they never told me that’s what happened and they never looked in my account like I can online to see what grades I’ve received for all of my classes. They just didn’t give me the money I need because the instructor didn’t do what he needed to do on time.
Apparently my money is supposed to be put in my account electronically today but, again, they always send me a check (even though I’ve filled out the direct deposit information for all of my loan money). I’m guessing the money will get here sometime this week, right at the last minute when I need it for my rent and bills on the first of next month. Unfreakingbelievable. But at least I got some answers and everything straightened out. I wonder if everyone in my class who was up for their new loans got screwed over by this like I did.
On this day: The radio drama, War of the Worlds, directed by Orsen Wells, was performed as a Halloween special on October 30, 1938.
And, hell yeah, we’ve got a teaser trailer for Indiana Jones 4!
Plus, I’m loving that they have a whole Lostpedia website. I found it by searching the literary references in the show.


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