she knew she had to change her plans

News on the radio, Happy Birthday September 28, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — deloresdefacto @ 3:31 pm

Oddly, I wasn’t going to use the Hourly Radio picture for my birthday post but when I found the Concrete Blonde lyrics, it fit, so the post format stays.
I’m 31. It’s not that big of a deal. It just sucks because every guy that I think is cute is still in his 20s. At least when they get to their 30s they decide to settle down. But the cute ones get taken the minute they’re available. So I guess I’ll have to sit around and wait for some 20 year old to turn 30 and then jump on his while he’s vulnerable. Yeah, I’m sure that plan will pan out for me. Sigh.
Anyway, so I’m going to dinner with my parents in a few, having cake, getting presents, maybe going to Fran’s Dad’s with her later on to visit. All in all just another rainy day but it’s like my own personal New Year’s so it’s special in that regard.
So, my media news goes like this:
The Hourly Radio is coming to Orlando at the Social on November, 9th. For $12, a Friday night and at The Social; I’m there. Too bad the club sucks on Friday night. I am so done with Fridays. If they’ve made it somewhat interesting there for a change, please let me know. I remember the time when Friday night was all of our sit around and bullshit night. What the hell happened to that? Oh yeah, right, we all stopped talking to each other. Sigh…
VNV Nation & The Gothic Cruise just kills me. I didn’t even know this was even possible, let alone annual. I wonder how many weddings are performed on the Gothic Cruise each year.


Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who’s brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

I don’t think there are any men out there who afraid that I will hurt them. Generally it’s the rotten ones who lure me down.
And I don’t think I’m exceptional because I’m not easy. I know men use girls. Hell, they’ve all used me when it came to that conquest. It makes no difference if I am easy or not, they just split after a few months. That’s all I can ever expect out of the ones I pick. I have a collection of rotten boys that I keep on a shelf. I don’t think it’s so much them, that’s just the way they are, just what they do. I’m way too much for a guy who is just normal. You know, normal, like no history of alcoholism, no profound drug use, no mommy issues, no tendency to be a compulsive liar, no anger management class, no leading girls on so that they fall into a massive pit at the end of the long line of words that have no meaning. It has nothing to do with being picky or needing a list of requirements or over analyzing or anything, it just is what it is.
Speaking of rotten boys, today is the birthday of my first and most rotten apple on the shelf.
But that’s too much drama for one morning. I’m trying to put this blog post together, wait for the maintenance guy to stop by and paint the hole he had to make in the wall yesterday. I got woken up at 10:30 or so yesterday morning with two workers at my door saying that the chick living downstairs had a small black stain on her ceiling. I had no water on the rug or noticed any water anywhere so I had no idea there was any kind of leak. Turns out it was the pipe inside the tub. So they stayed, luckily for only an hour, pulled out all the pipes under the tub (cleaned my drain out for me, thankfully. I just cannot have my hair this long, it’s a mess and a pain in the ass to have it falling out so much) and sealed up the leaky pipe. The whole time the cat sat there watching them intently, as if they had come to visit him or something. Here I thought he would be totally anti social now since his worst case scenario trip to the vet’s when he was young. He started hissing and being scared of other people after that. Maybe he’s over it by now. {shrug}
I found out that the really cool keyboard at Staples that I wanted but was $64 (I contemplated buying it anyway) really is the one that I had already won on Ebay for $36. Now, I pray that it’s in perfect working order without a broken key or anything. The guy said it was like new so here’s hoping.
I wonder when my camera is coming too. At Staples last night I got a camera zippy pouch case thing (black) and the LCD screen protectors. I have the SD card all ready so now I’m ready to run around town and take pictures of random things with my new camera. I hope it is as cool as it seems.

Anyway, onto real topic for this post….
I can’t stand when people won’t fess up to listening to dorky stuff when they were little kids and claim that they had an opinion about what they heard. Nah, a ten year old kid listens to what their friends listen to, what’s on the radio, what is in front of them. I listened to Tiffany and Whitney Huston and Kylie Minogue. I had their singles on little records that I kept in a white patent leather carrying case. (I’ll betcha that is still hanging around somewhere at my parents’ house.) I listened to Top 40 shit. There was no opinion about it. I hung out with my friend Lisa who use to sing along with the neon pink tapes I made off of the radio. I didn’t listen to New Kids on the Block because no one was that into them when I first moved to Florida. I listened to metal and hip hop back then (an interesting combination I must say which has transformed to my indie rock and ebm fascination.) No one taught me anything. I had no siblings and no friends who were into anything remotely hip.
When I got to high school and I saw the older kids though, that’s when I became aware. It was a very Almost Famous experience; it expanded my mind. I saw the boys I had the crushes on in their Lollapalooza shirts and Converse and I thought, “That’s what I want.” I found R.E.M. I found Nirvana (honestly, I hated them at first), I found 120 Minutes and I remember my friend saying that she thought Siouxie’s voice was “ugly”.) I found Morrissey (yes, I eventually figured out who The Smiths were), I liked Depeche Mode when I heard “I Feel You,” I liked U2 when I heard “One.” There was no “Music for the Masses” and no “Joshua Tree.” I hadn’t a clue but I was more with it than my friends were.
When I found Smashing Pumpkins I was done. Threw in the towel and became the “little grunge girl.” I had seen “I Am One” on 120 Minutes before “Cherub Rock” came out but I thought they were weird. When I saw Billy Corgan standing on that cliff with his short hair and polyester shirt for the first time though, I was sold. I remember when I first saw this video and the VJ said, “Billy Corgan has gotten a little chubbier in his face. It must be all of that home cooking he has now that he’s married.”
But nonetheless, I was in love with guitar rock and anything that lead up to the grunge / alternative movement that my high school years were privileged to have after this moment. After that it was Hole, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Nine Inch Nails, Skinny Puppy, Front 242, Stone Temple Pilots, The Cure, Tori Amos, Bjork, Ministry, The Breeders (I didn’t know anything about The Pixies until I was over the age of twenty, by the way and all of these older bands I picked up with their current album in the 90s.) I had posters of “weird” people on my walls. I had friends who wore black shirts and combat boots. I was the tom boy grunge girl sister of the troop. I wore my black beanie In my red car, platoon boots, knee highs, pleated skirt, Cure t-shirt, silver metal box purse, smoking cloves and cranking up “Rocket” on my way home from school. I was the shit.
And that’s the way it’s been ever since then. I didn’t become my own normal person until that moment in 1992, sitting in my car, listening to “Cherub Rock” on the radio, going, “Okay, I like this.” I didn’t buy anything that I just liked even though no one else liked it until I walked in the mall to the only shitty music store we had and bought Siamese Dream on cassette tape. I made all of my friends listen to it. They scoffed at my obsession, but they all ended up buying the album or playing “Disarm” on the guitar at some point after that. When I met my ex rotten apple, he played a few songs, songs none of the local boys could play, on the guitar for me. I found someone who was just as obsessive and arrogant about their music taste as I was.
So today, now 15 years later, two days after my birthday and the birthday of my ex rotten apple, I dedicate this post to him. He was always such an ass, but, man, did he teach me how to listen to the music. I had never spliced up the guitar and bass lines before or concentrated on the drum beats or understood the importance of a good riff as he did.
I have never, ever, heard music the same way again and I don’t go with the typical flow as everyone else does. I picked what everything because of its unique quality. There has to be substance and talent. There has to be a shock and awe effect. And no matter how much I love everything at is current in my CD collection, nothing will ever be as good as it was. Just look at this following list. I am so grateful that I was just the right age and just the right time to appreciate this point on the musical time line. The music made me, me. This was when I became aware and in that one single year when I became myself, before I was tainted by some rotten apple of a boy, I started becoming who I am today. My consciousness grew and I became an actual self sufficient human being with an identifiable soul. I was a fucking cool girl who listened to really fucking cool music.
1992 was a pivotal year in the development of music. The most pivotal moment in musical development in 1992 was Nirvana’s Nevermind going to #1 on the CD charts. This marked the point where Grunge began to overtake the Glam metal style of the 1980s.

I still to this day have never bought anything Green Day. I don’t know why, they’re fine and all, but I was just never that into them. But they made their mark this year as well. The first time I saw the “Longview” video is forever impressed upon my memory as well. Hellogoodbye to 1992.
Huh, even my post is number 31.


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